It is with a heavy heart that I address you today!

August 7, 2008 3:40 PM

Soberly-written documents rendered as comic-book dialogue.
posted by beaucoupkevin (33 comments total)

They forgot to bold every second word, for emphasis.
posted by turgid dahlia at 3:45 PM on August 7

Oh, I see what you did there.
posted by PostIronyIsNotaMyth at 3:45 PM on August 7

Snarky comment!
posted by not_on_display at 3:47 PM on August 7

really? just exclamation points?
posted by tjenks at 3:47 PM on August 7

Yes! Just exclamation points! Do you have a problem with that!
posted by blue_beetle at 3:49 PM on August 7

McSweeney's is a virus that must be stopped.
posted by KokuRyu at 3:51 PM on August 7

Ending every sentence with an exclamation point doesn't render these items as comic book dialogue. The Associated Press' "News Feed From Iraq", for example, reads like a typical news brief.

This would have been funny if it had used a comic book font, word bubbles, and the subject/emphasis "boldening" usually found in comic books.
posted by ...possums at 3:54 PM on August 7

McSweeney's is bland inoffensive pablum, kind of like that JibJab shit they keep playing on MSNBC. Guaranteed to be mildly amusing at best but at least it won't rock the boat too much. Wouldn't want someone to accidently laugh out loud and disturb grandpa.
posted by Justinian at 3:54 PM on August 7 [1 favorite]

Just because it's on McSweeny's doesn't mean it's funny. !.

And it's not a bad idea. I was expecting more.
posted by refrigerateafteropening at 3:56 PM on August 7

Do you have a problem with that!

But I have a question! This style of punctuation inhibits my ability to express it! Is it possible to use the interrobang?!
posted by never used baby shoes at 3:58 PM on August 7

SNIKT?!
posted by turgid dahlia at 3:59 PM on August 7

WHO IS YOUR GOD NOW‽
posted by PostIronyIsNotaMyth at 4:06 PM on August 7

No!
posted by fixedgear at 4:07 PM on August 7

Also! The funniest thing I found on that "web page!"

Please welcome Amy Jean Porter's horse T-shirt. For the next few days, the shirt is 20 percent off.

I laughed my ass off!
posted by fixedgear at 4:09 PM on August 7

Meh!
posted by pompomtom at 4:14 PM on August 7 [1 favorite]

Please welcome Amy Jean Porter's horse T-shirt.

From her series Tiny Horses Say What!
posted by mr_roboto at 4:15 PM on August 7 [1 favorite]

It's funnier to change the dialogue of comics to read like soberly-written documents.

Get lost, pencil-neck. Veronica's my girlfriend now.
Let us not forget that Nick St. Clair took advantage of everyone in Riverdale. Including me.
Betty Cooper. I wouldst have words with you.
It's clobbering time.
Look. Up in the sky. It's a bird. It's a plane. No... it's Superman.

posted by infinitewindow at 4:15 PM on August 7 [3 favorites]

A tiny horse says what?

What does a goat say?
posted by fixedgear at 4:17 PM on August 7

Some dislike McSweeney's. Personally, I find their humor to be generally funny and at times hilarious.
posted by The White Hat at 4:18 PM on August 7

What a disappointingly minimal interpretation of this concept! I am actually rather shocked, given the ease with which any idiot can whip-up some graphics! My opinion of McSweeney's is now poor!
posted by chudmonkey at 4:20 PM on August 7 [1 favorite]

SLMcS
posted by HeroZero at 4:20 PM on August 7

So every post they have over there is going to end up on the front page here?

Wait. I mean:

So every post they have over there is going to end up on the front page here?!?
posted by DU at 4:23 PM on August 7

I am so mad I could spit.
posted by subgear at 4:24 PM on August 7

I usually like McSweeney's. It's usually clever and funny. Sure, it loves itself a bit too much, but the quality is usually good enough to warrant a chuckle, and make me feel like some kind of elitist snob.

This post was absolutely awful, though. I too can find-replace for periods and turn them into exclamation points. See watch:


I usually like McSweeney's! It's usually clever and funny! Sure, it loves itself a bit too much, but the quality is usually good enough to warrant a chuckle, and make me feel like some kind of elitist snob!

This post was absolutely awful, though! I too can find-replace for periods and turn them into exclamation points! One McSweeney's please!
posted by !Jim at 4:27 PM on August 7

I like McSweeney's, but this fell completely flat. Way short of its potential. Bold words, bubbles, meanwhiles . . . so many ways to make this a classic bit, so many ways it didn't even try.
posted by Mikey-San at 4:31 PM on August 7

Pow! Biff! Delete!
posted by Horace Rumpole at 4:32 PM on August 7 [1 favorite]

I submitted a piece to them that they rejected, and I think it is funnier than this one. Therefore, I am going to publish it here to spite them:

Songs by Celebrities if they were Delta Blues singers.

1. Laurence "Mister T" Tureaud: "I Have Pity for a Fool," 1928, Blue Bird Records, 28005-A
2. "Billy Boy" Crystal: "There's Too Much Pepper on My Paprikash Blues," 1931, Broome Records, 1542-B
3. C. Eastwood: "Lucky Feelin' Punk," 1922, Four-Square Records, 132445-A
4. Baby Bacall: "Just Put Your Lips Together (And Blow)," 1928, Hokum Records, 1452B
5. R. Dangerfield: "No Respect-Having Man," 1917, Edison Diamond, 1432A
6. Chris Walkin: "(Five Long Years) He Wore This Watch," Kazoo Records, 1376A
7. "Pee Wee" Reubens: "Don't Wear Out My Name," 1923, Robin Street, 7635-B
8. Jackie Nicholson: "All the Time I Work Work and Never Do I Play," 1933, Maddox Records, 333A
9. Bob "Big Bob" De Niro: "I Heard Things," 1921, Vacant Tree Records, 2451B
10. A. Baldwin "Make Your Decision for Christ," 1935, Heavensent Records, 1313A
posted by Astro Zombie at 4:33 PM on August 7 [5 favorites]

I DIDN'T LAUGH! AT ALL!
posted by BrodieShadeTree at 4:39 PM on August 7

KokuRyu: "McSweeney's is a virus that must be stopped."

Quick! Infect that virus with another virus!
posted by Science! at 4:44 PM on August 7

Yeah, often those lists make me at least snort out loud, but this one was flat like de-fizzed root beer.
posted by everichon at 4:45 PM on August 7

i'd have gone with My Name (Don't Wear It Out)
posted by empath at 4:45 PM on August 7

And now you made subgear ready to spit.
posted by everichon at 4:46 PM on August 7

Awful. Possibly may have worked with actual comic drawings and thought bubbles etc, but WTF? These internets, they have graphics..
posted by Maias at 4:47 PM on August 7